This was on eBay today:
Unpublished Original Fictional Manuscript Seeking a Co-author (for Denouement only)
Author looking for a patron of the arts and sciences to underwrite the publishing of new novel. A soon-to-be-retired scientist has written an international thriller of some 300+ pages; the denouement has not been finalized.
The reason is that he desires the patron to add his name as co-author of the novel. In return for this, the author would like the co-author to underwrite the cost of the publishing venture and if willing, to attend with him the signing events and marketing efforts in order to attain the New York Times Best Seller List.
The author is offering for auction three chapters of the novel, tentatively titled THE DEVIL DANCES ONLY AT MIDNIGHT. If the buyer (and potential co-author) thinks that this is a viable venture, then the author and he can negotiate the details of how many books are to be underwritten and to what extent the co-author wishes to participate in the marketing. The co-author also, of course, gets to have genuine artistic input on the denouement and thus how the novel will end. The denouement left to write probably will be no longer than two or three chapters or less than ten per cent of the manuscript as already written.
At the bottom of the auction listing (THIS IS REAL---I'M NOT KIDDING!) is:
Seller's payment instructions
*****End of entry. *****
BWAH! BWAH-BWAH-BWAH-BWAH!!! OW!! I think I pulled something. Ow!
It's item #5983558360 http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?Vie
So essentially for the honor of being this con man's--uh--writer's partner, the co-author can pay for all those pesky publishing costs that stand between the originator and the fame and fortune he certainly thinks awaits him.
I should send him to Publish America. They deserve each other.
TIMES BESTSELLER LIST?????? (The Colonel's voice rises into the shrieking heights that only dogs can hear.)
(Wiping eyes and coughing because this one loosened a wad of phlegm the size of a jumbo egg.) Oh dear gawd, and I thought by now I'd seen everything. How pretentious of me.
Once again it is proved that the dif between genius & stupidity is that genius has its limits.
Well, here's the genius. Stupidity will be the person who takes him up on this offer!
Ow! Ow! I got a stitch in my side!
Can't. Stop. Laughing......must stop....must....must control self.........
|comments: Leave a comment|