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Subject:Laughing almost too hard to type!
Time:02:53 pm
Current Mood:Hysterical

This was on eBay today:

Unpublished Original Fictional Manuscript Seeking a Co-author (for Denouement only)

Author looking for a patron of the arts and sciences to underwrite the publishing of new novel. A soon-to-be-retired scientist has written an international thriller of some 300+ pages; the denouement has not been finalized.

The reason is that he desires the patron to add his name as co-author of the novel. In return for this, the author would like the co-author to underwrite the cost of the publishing venture and if willing, to attend with him the signing events and marketing efforts in order to attain the New York Times Best Seller List.

The author is offering for auction three chapters of the novel, tentatively titled THE DEVIL DANCES ONLY AT MIDNIGHT. If the buyer (and potential co-author) thinks that this is a viable venture, then the author and he can negotiate the details of how many books are to be underwritten and to what extent the co-author wishes to participate in the marketing. The co-author also, of course, gets to have genuine artistic input on the denouement and thus how the novel will end. The denouement left to write probably will be no longer than two or three chapters or less than ten per cent of the manuscript as already written.

At the bottom of the auction listing (THIS IS REAL---I'M NOT KIDDING!) is:

Seller's payment instructions
Write the author, Tom Ledbetter, in your own, neat hand at 3000 S. Randolph St., No. 165, Arlington, VA 22206. Include your phone number and briefly discuss in writing in general terms your financial status in order that I may determine that you are in earnest and able to finance the potential publishing of a best-seller. I will call you back and we can discuss arrangements and possibly set up a meeting to finalize this important enterprise.

*****End of entry. *****

BWAH! BWAH-BWAH-BWAH-BWAH!!!  OW!!  I think I pulled something.  Ow!

It's item #5983558360  http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=317&item=5983558360&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW and should be on view for a few months after the close of the auction.

So essentially for the honor of being this con man's--uh--writer's partner, the co-author can pay for all those pesky publishing costs that stand between the originator and  the fame and fortune he certainly thinks awaits him.

I should send him to Publish America.  They deserve each other.

TIMES BESTSELLER LIST??????  (The Colonel's voice rises into the shrieking heights that only dogs can hear.)

AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Wiping eyes and coughing because this one loosened a wad of phlegm the size of a jumbo egg.)  Oh dear gawd, and I thought by now I'd seen everything. How pretentious of me.

Once again it is proved that the dif between genius & stupidity is that genius has its limits.

Well, here's the genius. Stupidity will be the person who takes him up on this offer!

Ow! Ow! I got a stitch in my side!

Can't. Stop. Laughing......must stop....must....must control self.........

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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st_jb
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-06-24 08:19 pm (UTC)
I am stunned.

I'm also friending you. I didn't know you had an LJ.
(Reply) (Thread)


colonel_gabriel
Subject:LOL!
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-06-24 10:12 pm (UTC)
I've had an LJ for months, just never anything to say or time to say it. I still don't have anything to say, but at least some of it's amusing.

**Snorfle!**
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


st_jb
Subject:Re: LOL!
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-06-24 10:21 pm (UTC)
Now you know my LJ identity. Stop by sometime.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


gridlockjoe
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-06-24 08:48 pm (UTC)
Ditto what st_jb said. Welcome to LJ land! :)
(Reply) (Thread)

crazymadjo
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-06-24 09:47 pm (UTC)
Arrogance + Ignorance = Amusement!
(Reply) (Thread)


rachelcaine
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-06-25 12:38 pm (UTC)
OH MY DEAR FRELLING DEITY.

This is just ... unbelievable.

I'm going to write him a neat, handwritten letter about what a total smegging idiot he is.

Although: I just had a thought. What if he's a reporter trying to write a story about how gullible people can be? About what kind of desperate people there are out there? My God, how Machiavellian! (And I probably didn't even spell it right.)

That gives me an idea for a murder mystery. Reporter posts this on eBay, writes an expose, then gets targeted by his so-called "cowriter" ... yikes. Maybe we can get Johnny Depp to do the movie.

OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, STOP ME!

I'm cross-linking to this because damn, woman. Awesome.

-- Rachel
(Reply) (Thread)


rachelcaine
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-06-25 12:40 pm (UTC)
P.S. - sorry about last night. I've found I have a "hard stop" now. And once I run out of energy, I'm out and there's no renewing it. It's like a vampire at sunrise, I'm telling ya.

I dragged my tired ass out with Cat to get a light dinner, fighting the urge to break into tears the whole time, and then I went home and crawled in bed. Read the last 20 pages of Minette Walters' The Breaker and went to sleep at 6:30 p.m.

Just woke up, 12 hours later. Oy.

-- R.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


colonel_gabriel
Subject:OH MY DEAR FRELLING GODDESS
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-06-26 01:51 am (UTC)
ROTF! Hey, RUN with it!

But for heaven's sake DON'T write him. I made that mistake once and stepped into a big fat, stinky, steaming pile of trouble.

Stay anonymous and off his radar and WRITE THAT OUT! It'd make a hoot of a screenplay.

You can have David Thewlis playing the psycho stalker...

- Gabe
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


shadowhelm
Subject:LOL! Oh my!
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-06-25 09:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is rich! Yeah, you're going in my friend's list too.
(Reply) (Thread)

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