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Subject:I'm not making this up.
Time:01:33 pm
Current Mood:Just shaking my head

Blame st_jb</lj>  for this.  She's a wiz at finding the weird--the truly, laughably WEIRD--on eBay. Submitted for your approval, minus all attempts at grammer & spell check or sorting present from past tense since the writer didn't see fit to bother.  How amusing that she suggests the buyer get a pro proofreader or copy editor.  Don't laugh--that puts her WAY ahead of the clowns at PubliSHAMerica!

   BID ON COMPLETED UNPUBLISHED MANUSCRIPT! #4562783088
Thanks for taking a look at this listing for my exciting manuscript! The working title for this piece has been Blueline. There is a interesting reference to the title in the manuscript. Looking for a fresh story idea? Want to rewrite into a great screenplay? This manuscript could be the basis for a winner. I would be available to help with any rewrite. Why sell my manuscript? I need the money! That's why there is a reserve price set. Blueline is a fun read and it should be shared. I have so many other incredible ideas I can almost bear to part with this one. I've been blessed with creativity and I've already started on another project.

The manuscript is type written in courier new, double spaced, 250 pages and about 54,000 words. A professional proofreader and/or copy editor would be important. This work is currently not copywrited. I'm a former employee of Ford Twin Cities Assembly Plant. I worked as an assembler on the line for over ten years. I'm a single mother of two teens. Much of Blueline's story is derived from my personal life experience. I was born and raised in Buffalo, NY and I've been a resident of Minnesota for over 16 years. I've lived a blue-collar existence for most of my life with UAW blood. My mother and uncles all worked in auto factories. Blueline blurs the bounderies of fiction and autobiography. The manuscript is based on factual experiences with twists and spicy extras.

The African-American female protagonist (Lacey) is an auto assembler in a fictional Saint Paul, Minnesota factory. A mother of two she struggles with life. The story includes a close look at the blue-collar world as well as urban Minnesotan communities. Familiar to the reader will be Lacey's search for satifaction and peace in several areas, primarily her love life and career path. The death of her white ex-boyfriend/co-worker disturbs not only Lacey's existence but also others close to him. The factory enviroment highlights the now not-so-unusual exploration of an interracial relationship as apart of modern society. Addiction and its role in dismantling families is also a topic of concern. Blueline evokes the family ties of Rosalyn McMillan's, Blue Collar Blues, while adding a grittier glimpse into the autoworker's life. The novel will take the reader on a journey through change, spiritually. Even an unexpected pregnancy it dealt with, ultimately becoming a source of peace. For blue collar readers, this work may be a source of inspiration to follow dreams. For others, this work will be an outsider's look into Lacey's complex life.

Read a sample:

     When hiring you in at an assemlby plant, after you've passed the piss test, the human resources drill is always the same, "This is a physically and mentally challenging way to make a living." This was above soreness and having tired feet. At this moment, Lacey's pain is concentrated in the right thumb and wrist. The doctors call it "repetitive movement disorder." Currently, she has a addiction to caffeine, nicotine and ibuprofen. Others in the plant have additions to harder substances needed to make it through the shift. The pain in Lacey's crippled and callused hand was severe today. Learning to work with the pain had become a part of life. The chance that a Workman's Compensation check might not be mailed on time couldn't be taken. Red tape or a "denial of responsibility" letter from the workman's comp. office could hold up a necessary check. Still, Lacey knew she couldn't keep taking so much medication on a daily basis.

     Like many, despite making a "decent living" Lacey was broke. A small rainy day savings and living paycheck to paycheck was stressful. She worked through ideas to earn extra money to could turn things around and maybe quit the plant. They all remained just that, ideas. Lacey was grateful to have a "good paying job, with benefits." She had her share of red-letter notices in the past; Eviction. Disconnection. Final Notice. Bankruptcy. Insufficient Funds. Pawn shop tickets. This was the era of programs like welfare to work. Shaking the new Governor's sticky hand on his visit to the plant, Lacey was satisfied that she didn't vote for him. "The People's Candidate" made it clear that he wouldn't be on the side of labor or the working poor. Childcare subsidies, college benefits, the arts and other programs were not government's responsibility. Lacey watched his bald head quiver and listened to his gruff voice as he spoke about his plans for the future. Bumper stickers read, "My Governer Can Beat Up Your Governer. " Lacey smiled, picturing him choking another suit wearing a bright pink feather boa. Still, she admired his resolve and willingness to remain himself. To the top, despite is personality. He wouldn't be humping this line. Lacey kept taking lots of pain medication, worked through the pain and played ten bucks worth of lottery tickets every week, hoping to get a break.

------------------------

Please, only serious bidders! If you are the winning bidder, I will send you a computer disk with the complete manuscript. I am in the process of having it copywrited and I will sign the rights to you and/or your company. Email me with questions or if you have any ideas for me.

------------------------

Sweetheart--I have an idea for you but it involves a reality check on how real world publishing works and you wouldn't like it.

The current bid on this bit of boring blue collar boof is (Yes! People are BIDDING on this!) 75.00, reserve not met.  (She's got it the wrong way around.  As bad as this stuff is she'll have to PAY people to read it.)

She's such an optimist with her 20,000 Buy It Now price.    Apparently she thinks all writers get the Stephen King bucks.  It's a common delusion.  When I tell people I'm a writer, their eyes get big, then they look at the car I drive and the shifting of mental gears still amuses me.

Not as much as this eBayer, though.

Bwah!

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shadowhelm
Subject:ROTFLMAO!
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-07-25 07:04 pm (UTC)
Man, I should do this! Maybe I'll make 20K on my next book too? Oh LOL!
(Reply) (Thread)


st_jb
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-07-25 07:09 pm (UTC)
Yes, it is a common delusion, she says, as she slaves away over a hot keyboard in an even hotter house.

Bidding is up to $75. Why?
(Reply) (Thread)


st_jb
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-07-25 07:10 pm (UTC)
...and she is dripping sweat like commas.

,,,,,,
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

crazymadjo
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-07-25 09:53 pm (UTC)
:boggles:
(Reply) (Thread)


colonel_gabriel
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-07-25 11:27 pm (UTC)
Yes, my dears, there really are barking mad people out there, and they do amuse us mightily.

Maybe the eBay seller hopes that a big time H'wood type will get wind of her masterpiece or that it's picked up as a weird item by CNN that day, generating tons of hits and lots of money for her.

She has better odds of winning the lottery. One presumes she blows 10. a week on tickets in hope of raising her income just like her boring main character.

Now if she REALLY wants to make money on eBay, then she should troll garage sales, learn to pick up the choice treasures from the trash, then resell them. Imagine the joy of finding an unopened case of Billy Beer and selling it to collectors one can at a time!

Heck, I found one of those little Corgi cars (near mint, mind you) with the original 1.75 Hobby Shop price tag on it. I didn't pay that much. I resold it to a collector in Japan for over 30.00. This doesn't happen often, but once past the learning curve she'd have a better turn around for her cash.

It wouldn't be nearly as entertaining, though.
(Reply) (Thread)

crazymadjo
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-07-25 11:59 pm (UTC)
What kills me is somebody is BIDDING on this thing! If she wasn't so greedy, she could have a cool $75 in her pocket right now. A welcome shot of income for somebody living check-to-check.

That is, assuming that the bidder in question is legitimate and not just a sock puppet or friend deliberately bidding below the reserve to make the item appear more desirable.

What, me cynical?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


ashton7
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-07-26 09:21 pm (UTC)
Is Billy Beer really worth money? I think I had a can of that. I can't remember whether or not I still have it.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


macgyvergal
Link:(Link)
Time:2005-07-26 04:04 pm (UTC)
At least this keeps you off the streets. :shakes head:
(Reply) (Thread)

[icon] colonel_gabriel - I'm not making this up.
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